When I think back on my previous corporate experiences, I am reminded of times when things just didnt go right despite my best efforts. In retrospect, there were occasions when I was the cause of the problem. Yes, as good as I was at doing my job, occasionally I made mistakes.
I must admit that I usually felt my ideas were best. Where I would make my mistake would be the times when I was willing to sacrifice the relationship in order to win the battle. I realize now that at times I had my priorities mixed up. I sometimes allowed my desire for control to take precedence over the need to use my influential skills.
If you want to build effective long term relationships with your peers, it is truly a mistake to always try to have your idea be the chosen one. Most times you can gain better leverage through compromise and allowing anothers perspective to merge with your own.
Taking the time to think about how your response can create a win/win experience when you have a difference of opinion with a peer, will go a long way in creating such an environment. Remember, it is more difficult to reestablish your creditability once you get a reputation for always wanting to have your position be the chosen one.
If your ability to get others to follow you by using your influential skills are rusty, challenge yourself to pick a situation in which you can practice. The objective is not to keep making the mistake of using the same approach to getting your ideas accepted. If you would like to talk with me about what it takes to make such a transition successfully, give me a call.
Todays competitive work environment demands that you figure out how to work with others to get results. Your primary focus should be placed on creating the type of environment where everyones opinion is valued.
At times it may seem easier to bulldoze your idea through because you know it is the right solution. In the long run you cause yourself more work by using this approach with peers.
Control versus influence can be a constant battle for a leader with a dominant style. Some situations do truly require you to have total control. However, I have learned that when it comes to working effectively with people where there is no reporting structure, it is truly more useful in the long run to focus on influencing the opinions of others versus trying to control everything.
Depending on the severity of the situation, sometimes these mistakes resulted in career repercussions. Now mind you, I'm not talking about the type of mistakes one makes from completing daily responsibilities. I seldom had that type of problem.
My mistakes usually stemmed from the need to have the last word during a conflict with one of my peers. Typically the disagreement would stem from a difference of opinion on which direction the team should take.